Facebook Friends

Friday, September 21, 2007


I have a handful of people in my life (outside my own family) who I could properly call "friends." These are people I could call on at any time of the day or night. People who would jump in front of a bus for me. People who really know me, insofar as anybody can know somebody else.

On Facebook, I have scads and scads of "friends." About 60, at last count. Most of these folks really are friends of mine, in the general, easy sense that we use that word nowadays. Some are people from my past, and some are people that I've never actually met face-to-face.

But they're not friends in the true, deep sense of that word. Not friends the way Jesus calls his disciples friends in the Gospel of John. In that sense of friendship, most of my Facebook friends range from "relatively close acquaintances" to "people I know only by name."

The frustrating contradiction contained in our ever-increasing reliance on technology is that, while we can stay in touch with more people than ever before, we tend to have deep and meaningful relationships with fewer and fewer.

Don't get me wrong. I write this as one who loves technology: I am writing this blog post while logged on Blogger via wireless Internet connection and checking my cell phone for voicemails.

But I also think our technology addiction inhibits the formation of relationships and communities. Think about the amount of time we all spend plugged into our gadgets (and tuned out from the world). Think about the way contemporary worship services often base their "relevance" on their use and mastery of the latest technologies. These things are problems.

Anyway, I write about Facebook friends in my latest UM Reporter column. I'd welcome your throughts.

7 Comments:

Blogger Steve Heyduck said...

Andrew,

As usually, great, thought-provoking stuff!

I've had friend requests on myspace and face-book from names I don't recognize. I usually shoot a message: "Do we know each other?"

Sometimes we do. Sometimes we don't.

These are ways of connecting; nto ways that can take the place of face-to-face relationship, but valid ways, and thus means of grace, through which God can reach us.

2:40 PM  
Blogger gavin richardson said...

gee, and i thought we were friends andy.. &:~)

honestly, nothing beats the real face to face contact.

5:13 PM  
Blogger Gary said...

There is something lost in the dialog that is only technology based. There is a lot to be said about "techgnosticism" and evidence of it can be found in places like Myspace pretty quickly.

I linked some articles on Second Life on my blog. Law suits, online marriages between already married people, cyber church plants; it is a topic the church will be dealing with a lot in the next decade.

12:00 PM  
Blogger RevErikaG said...

Great article in Christian Century, Andy...while not related to this, just wanted to thank you for that!

11:14 AM  
Blogger The Thief said...

My problem is that once I graduated from seminary, I have had a hard time finding real friends at all. Not on facebook, not in real life.

I do have a friend or two who I've met on internet forums, and it's helpful to have someone else who is my age doing ministry, someone who understands the difficulties associated with it.

I have 19 facebook "friends". All but 3 of them are real life friends who I joined facebook to keep up with.

7:45 PM  
Blogger Andrew C. Thompson said...

Erika -

Thanks for the encouragement. I've received some nice feedback on it. I wanted to link to it from my blog, but apparently CC only provides links to recurring features on its website and not one-time articles.

Peace,
Andrew

10:26 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Lesley says: here i go, having my first go at the whirlpool of thinking brains. 'Friends' is a very good topic, as a ministers wife it ain't fun. To the few that I can call true friends, they are a blessing from God. Now my question, do we all expect to have too many friends? Jesus called his disciples his friends they were a group of 12!!!!! just a thought.

8:01 AM  

Post a Comment

<< Home